The Guest

In the next few weeks I get the chance to live on both sides of an equation. I am hosting my sister for a week and then I am staying with a cousin for a few days. Both these things present certain problems. Well maybe not for a normal well adjusted person but this is me we are dealing with. I live life at creep factor ten.

Hosting a guest can be a huge problem. What do I feed them? Where should they sleep? How can I keep them entertained? I can never remember if my sister is a veg or not. So do I go shopping now or wait and take her? Do I sleep on the air bed or does she? She has visited before so many of my touristy fallback moves are going to be useless. Yikes. Compounding things, she is bringing a fella. Is he a boyfriend? Do I let them stay together? Do I maintain some late night vigil protecting what I hope is my sisters innocence? Sitting between them on the couch and speaking in loud tones about the dangers of communicable diseases could be fun.

My sister is now twenty-one. I can get all legally shitty with my little sister. Part of me thinks this would be hilarious. But it could also be awful. Do I really want to see my baby sister throw up a tequila shooters on my lawn? Do I want her to see me vomit, call an ex girlfriend, fall asleep, and piss in the hall closet? There are a whole lot of land mines that I am going to have to navigate. We are going to Lollapolooza together. Does my sister get high?

Now the flip side. I am going to NYC and staying with a second cousin of mine. Not even a cousin-cousin, a second cousin. This actually may be a good thing now that I think about most of my first cousins. We email back and forth but have not really seen each other in ten years. I am staying with her for four days in a city I have only visited. Now do I go all touristy on my own? How many meals am I responsible for? Do I bring a gift? How many times should I offer to pay for things? Does my cousin get high?

Several friends from Chicago are going to be in NYC as well. They are staying all over the city and I could always hit them up if things go south. But I can not let things go south. This is family we are dealing with here. I fuck up and it will be reported back to all my relatives only confirming their belief that I am a creep. Do I make her hang out with my friends or do I hang out with her friends? Either way someone is going to feel out of place.

Fuck it. I am locking the door canceling my flights and renting Dexter.

Words I Hope Not To Regret

When you first start spending time with someone it's a lot like getting interrogated. It's a whole lot of asking questions and revealing information a bit at a time. You have to be careful not to dump your whole life story on someone all at once. Also you have your own questions. Each carefully chosen answer leads to a whole series of other questions. Answers like, "That reminds me of that night in Cabo" make the mind wander.

You find yourself wondering about Cabo. Who was there. What the hell happened in Cabo. In the span of a minute you create this entire fiction about the new POI* and their time in some Mexican prison. The reality is much more banal but what if it isn't? What if it is worse than you could have ever imagined?

This is the thing that dating in this day and age is all about. Everyone has a past. Everyone has done some fairly awful things. You just hope that the their awful things are not worse than your awful things.

*Person of interest

We Care A Lot

Underneath the well maintained facade of your average indifferent guy is someone who care too much. He cares more than everyone about everything and the only way to get around this is by presenting the appearance that he does not care. I am constantly disappointed by people because they follow their own impulses and rarely are willing to sacrifice for something bigger. Sacrifice isn't even the right word. Why not invest yourself in something? Why not try to build something?

I had someone the other day tell me flat out that they would never pick a group of people over themselves. Fair enough, maybe even smart. But really disheartening when you are part of the group. This can be just as bad in personal relationships. People do as they are want to. I just wonder if they ever think about maybe making something bigger then them?

I believe these guys said it best.