Lollapalooza is upon us. All weekend I will be dying in the heat while I wait to hear the few bands I want to see. The biggest bonus that the show has is that it is twenty minutes away from my little hobbit hole. Door to door, train to train only twenty minutes. I bought my ticket this year with the hope that I would get a Blur reunion, maybe My Bloody Valentine, definitely The Beastie Boys. What am I getting? The Goddamn King of Fucking Leon. Really? For reals? You mean it?
Let me break down our headliners:
Depeche Mode: Old reliable. Would I skip them if some else good was playing? Yes. Do I own most of their albums? Sure. Do I sing along to Enjoy the Silence whilst on the train? Believe it. I also always carry a folding chair whilst wearing a crown and a cape.
P.S. Anton Corbin is a genius.
The Cock-sucking Kings of Shit On: If The Strokes fucked Lynyrd Skynrd after the plane crash this is what their babies would look like. The only positive is that my American Apparel dressed brethren will be drawn to this shit like flies making it easier to buy beer.
Tool: I loved Tool. Then I realized that I couldn't spend eight minutes waiting for a song to jump off. Also, Maynard can you at least look in the audience's general direction if we are going to pay you?
P.S. Danny Kerry is an amazing drummer.
The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs: I would love to see them in a smaller venue. I don't know if they can rock a field full of tired, drunk, sunburned folk in a field. I am hoping for the best. As far as last minute replacements for The Beastie Boys, I guess? How about letting Animal Collective play for three hours while we roll in the field?
Jane's Addiction: Twenty years ago? Fuck and yes. Ten years ago? Sure and why not. Today? I may try to grab the train and make it to an improv show.
The Killers: Maybe their bus will crash into river? I can only hope.
The best band of the weekend is playing at The Metro. Josh Homme, Dave Grohl, and John Paul freaking Jones and I couldn't get a ticket. I am really looking forward to The Decemberists, Animal Collective, Fleet Foxes, Atmosphere, and Animal Collective. Did I mention how unbelievable Animal Collective are? Why is there almost no hip hop booked? Are they worried about scaring the white people?
Oh yeah, nothing can top last year. My first few months in Chicago and I got to go with my new best friends. Radiohead destroyed the stage and blew our minds. I may never be as content as I was when I watched Fake Plastic Trees crescendo while the sky over Grant Park externalized what we were all feeling.
P.S. Thanks Sparta, Jay, Cathy, Brando, Bij.
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